Pastors and Church Conflict: Soul Health and Scriptural Nutrients

Pastors do not receive enough training in conflict resolution. If you’re a pastor, you know this is true. Every ministry I have been part of for over 44 years has had times of conflict—most of them significant conflict. This series is an attempt to close the gap in training. The first article was focused on bringing hope that our Lord is up to something good. Your God always has your good in mind, and He is writing a story. He wants you to be like His Son, and this change to be like him often happens through suffering (Romans 8:28-29). In other words, He wastes no pain.

The next article was meant to help you care for your soul and highlighted the importance of prayer. For some, there is a temptation to withdraw from the Lord during times of pressure, but instead, we need to move toward Him. Praying helps keep the soul healthy. This is especially modeled by David. Two-thirds of his Psalms were written because there was people pressure in his life. How did he handle this? One chief way was by pouring his heart out to the LORD (Psalm 62:8).

Let’s continue our theme of caring for our souls during times of conflict. In these times, it is easy to go through the motions to get our tasks done. Things like sermon preparation become the only times we spend in Scripture instead of thirsting for God’s Word to sustain ourselves as we cross the desert of conflict. I hope you will resist this temptation. You need God’s Word not only to prepare to feed others but to nourish yourself. Scripture has a central place in soul health for nourishment and as a way that God leads. He feeds us and leads us through His Word.

Encouragement from Psalm 119

Conflict has a depleting effect on the nutrients of your soul. In general, ministry is physically, spiritually, and emotionally draining, but times of church conflict take this to a different level. There were times when I would get up each Monday morning with a horrible headache after dealing with conflicts on Sunday. I needed not only ibuprofen and rest but to remind my soul of the promises! You see, if you take care of your soul using God’s Word, you may not only survive but even thrive. How can you thrive? The Lord will use Scripture to strengthen your faith as you believe the promises. Psalm 119 says, “If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction” (verse 92). In other words, delighting in Scripture saved the writer’s life!

Psalm 119 states that this is a purpose of the Bible. It is easy to see as you read this longest chapter that the author was having people problems (see verses 23, 42, 51, 61). To deal with this, he says in verse 131, “I open my mouth and pant, because I long for your commandments.” He was a hungry, thirsty soul because of his problems so he turned to Scripture and filled this longing. How does God’s Word feed us? It nourishes us by reminding us of promises that we then decide in our souls to believe. I get the picture of a little bird longingly waiting for

its mother to feed it with its head tilted back and beak wide open! May we be so during times of inevitable conflict.

There were times during one conflict early in ministry when Scripture was so alive its promises were almost jumping off the pages right into my soul. As strange as it sounds, I was almost sad when the situation was resolved because my times of pursuing a relationship with the Lord were so fulfilling.

Our Lord’s Example

When our Lord was under pressure during his intense temptations by Satan, He made a now famous statement: “Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4, see Deuteronomy 8:3). If our Lord needed the promises of Scripture during times of intense pressure, what makes you think you can survive without it?

Let’s consider another way God uses His Word during times of conflict to help us stay healthy.

God Uses the Word to Help Us See Clearly

When this time of significant conflict occurred, I was trying to determine if I should resign from the church or persevere. My wife and I prayed diligently. I also sought counsel from a retired pastor in our church. In addition, I spent time soaking in Scripture. Each summer, our family would go away for a week to a Bible conference ground. I relished this place as a quiet setting where I could spend time pursuing a relationship with the Lord.

He used this setting, as I sat by a quiet waterway and read Psalm 37, to guide me to, “dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness” (verse 3). In my state of intense prayerfulness and soaking in Scripture, I took this as a direct answer to my prayer. It was as if the words jumped right off the page. Even though it was painful, we stayed and tried to be faithful. This helped my soul remain healthy because I had confidence that the LORD of the universe wanted me to stay, which meant He was with me.

Another way Scripture helped me see clearly was by giving me perspective and hope. I wondered, “Why do I have to be the one to go through this?” This certainly was not part of what I thought my ministry would be like. But Scripture tells me that the Lord custom designs trials to help me grow (Romans 8:28-29). This gave me a healthier perspective on why these trials were in my life. Conflict was for my good. Scripture also reminds me that someday the Lord will return, and He will wipe away all tears (Revelation 21:4). There will be no more relational conflict! Hallelujah!

In conclusion, let me remind you of a principle from a previous article: If you are not feeding your soul through God’s Word, you will feed your soul through something else. We are made to find satisfaction in the Lord.

May we be like the Psalmist who says, “For I have become like a wineskin in the smoke, yet I have not forgotten your statutes” (119:83). You may feel dried up because of conflict, but do not neglect God’s Word.

Please take time to quietly contemplate and then choose to believe the promises of God’s Word. The health of your soul depends on it! As God feeds you and leads you through His Word, you can thrive and not just survive.

©Ernie Baker. Used with permission.