Couple laughing with their foster child

10 Things I Wish Pastors Knew About Foster Care

When my wife and I took twin babies into our home, we knew that we had a lot to learn about foster care. But I was surprised to learn that I also had a lot to learn about foster care in my role as a pastor. With this experience has come a new understanding of the church’s role in caring for the fatherless. Here are 10 things I wish pastors knew about foster care.

1) Foster care is a reflection of the love of Jesus.

About three years before we began fostering, I had lunch with a pastor friend who is a proponent of foster care. He adopted one of his sons out of foster care, and many in their church are fostering or have adopted. I finally looked at him and shared, “I have always wanted to adopt, but I don’t know if I could have a child in my home for over a year and then possibly have to say goodbye to them.”

He gently but firmly challenged me, “Tim, did Jesus love us in a way that insulated him from hurt? The love of Jesus by nature is a love that opens itself to hurt for our good.” That was a turning point for me. This realization should be a turning point for the church.

2) Foster care is hard.

Although I knew that foster care reflected the love of Jesus, I also knew that it was hard. My wife and I knew we needed to wait for the right timing for the sake of our other kids. But we also knew that if we waited too long or for the “perfect time,” it would never happen. So, one day, we took the plunge. It turns out that foster care is one of the most difficult things I have ever done in my life.

It is good to encourage those in your church to go into foster care with their eyes wide open. Yet the gospel calls us to hard, messy, and difficult things.

3) Foster kids need patience and prayer.

One of the most important things for pastors to know about foster care is that foster kids need extra patience and prayer—including in the church. Sunday School teachers, Children’s Church workers, and others in the church need to see by your example and maybe learn by your instruction that the foster kids in their ministries need extra love. No child goes into foster care without trauma of some sort, and most of them have no church background. But what an incredible opportunity to share the gospel and show the love of Jesus to these precious kids and youth.

4) Foster families need support.

Foster families experience stressful, rapid changes. One day, a child is not in their home, and the next day, they (or several children) are. One day, a child is in their home, and the next day, he or she is not—and they may never have that relationship again. When foster families have several others in their support network, they are much more likely to be successful as foster parents.

We had eight hours between a phone call to twin babies living in our home. The only way we could get established as foster parents and continue through today is because our church family rallied around us. We didn’t make dinner for a month as we were showered with meals and adjusted to doctor appointments, family visits, and parenting babies again. Consider how your church can give foster families the support they need.

5) Foster care takes sacrifice.

Fostering a culture of foster care in your church partly comes from the realization that foster care requires sacrifice. Church members who served in certain ways before may be unable to serve in those same ways now because they are serving the new children in their homes. Realizing, embracing, and encouraging this will bring spiritual maturity to your church as members grow in sacrificing like their Savior, who came not to be served but to serve (Mark 10:45).

6) Foster care is an extension of pro-life beliefs.

The Bible calls us to not only pro-life convictions but also to pro-life actions. We believe Psalm 139, which tells us that God formed us in our mother’s wombs, and we believe James 1:22, which calls us to “be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” When children are rescued from abortion, those who end up in foster care need help. This is one way to show God’s heart for the fatherless (Psalm 68:5).

Jim Daly was a foster child himself for part of his growing-up years. He points out that there are about 400,000 children in foster care in the U.S., and over 100,000 of them are waiting to be adopted. But there are over 300,000 churches in the U.S. If just one out of three American churches had a family willing to adopt a child and people in the church willing to support them in that, the foster adoption rolls would be empty!

7) Foster care needs to be championed by pastors.

Proverbs 31:8a proclaims: “Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves…” (NIV)In your unique God-ordained role as a pastor, you can make a profound difference. Because foster care is so difficult, if you do not challenge church members and encourage them to consider foster care, they may not ever think about it as something God may be calling them to. Children in foster care are going to end up in foster homes. What a gospel opportunity to put them into caring, supportive, Jesus-loving homes!

8) Foster care reimbursements don’t pay all of the expenses.

Every state is different, but in most situations, foster care payments don’t cover all expenses. Caring for children is costly, and caring for children who are not your own can be a huge drain on a family’s finances. Checking in with foster parents in your church to see if there are unmet needs the church may be able to help with can make a huge difference. A church in our county runs a foster closet out of its building, which is a great resource for foster families. This episode of Focus on the Family has many ideas for all believers to be involved in foster care, even if they are not personally called to foster.

9) Foster care is about the kids, but it won’t always feel that way.

No child in foster care asks to be in the situation they are in. Families in your church who decide to serve in foster care do it to help these children. But sometimes, the brokenness in the system will be deeply discouraging. They may need pastoral care—a listening ear and prayer—to find the encouragement they need to continue.

10) Foster care is worth it.

Although foster care is difficult, it is worth it. Each thriving child given an opportunity in life and a loving family (even if temporary in some situations) is worth it. If you are supportive of foster families and help build a culture of foster care in your church, one day, you may get up to preach and realize that some of the children and young adults in the pews are former or current foster children who are now part of the family of God!

©2024 Tim Counts. Used with permission.

About The Author

Tim Counts
Tim Counts

Tim Counts is the pastor of Northshire Baptist Church in Manchester Center, Vt., and serves on the leadership team for Small Town Summits. He blogs regularly at He Must Become Greater.

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