The Shepherd’s Critic: Handling 'Haters' and Criticism as a Pastor

Furrowed brows. Shaking heads. Raised voices. Voluminous emails. Am I reading War and Peace or a now-former member’s angry rant toward my pastoral ministry?

This is the reality many pastors face: constant criticism. However justified or incoherent, it has become an expected experience, especially in American local churches. Call it an occupational hazard, but inevitably, as a pastor, you will face criticism of your teaching, leadership, and decisions. I receive no less than half a dozen criticism-heavy emails every week.

While criticism can be difficult to hear, it can also be an opportunity for growth and improvement in your ministry. Winston Churchill once said, “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” As such, it’s important to approach criticism with a biblical mindset and respond in a way that reflects God’s love and wisdom. Not taking criticism personally is a challenge, especially for someone like me, who loves pleasing people.

There are five principles that help me not take criticism personally, let it hijack my focus, or steal my joy as I seek God’s message and wisdom in leading our local flock.

1. Start with humility

The Bible teaches us that a humble heart is key to receiving correction and growing in wisdom. Proverbs 15:31-33 states, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding. Wisdom’s instruction is to fear the Lord, and humility comes before honor.” This passage highlights the importance of listening to and learning from constructive criticism, which is a sign of wisdom.

The Bible also emphasizes the role of humility in receiving criticism, as true understanding and growth can only come from an open and teachable heart. When I experience criticism, these are often my first two questions, no matter the source: Is this criticism true? What kind of response would please Christ? 

If the criticism is merited, I acknowledge it one-on-one with the person or with our elders, whether via email, phone call, or an in-person conversation. Suppose the criticism is from one of our staff members. In that case, I issue an apology or ask for forgiveness and strive to have a biblical response that acknowledges the criticism, gives clarity, and if needed, takes corrective action to help move forward.

2. Seek God’s approval

Proverbs 3:5-6 instructs us to “[t]rust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” This passage reminds pastors that they should always seek God’s guidance and direction in their ministry, especially when faced with criticism. It’s tempting to respond out of our own wisdom from years of experience, but that is a mistake. We cannot be the first source of wisdom from which we lead and pastor. By prayerfully submitting to God’s will, we can approach criticism with faith and trust that God will guide us through any difficulties or challenges.  

3. Actively pursue your critic’s perspective

James 1:19 instructs us to “be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” This verse reminds us as pastors to approach criticism with humility, actively listening to the concerns and perspectives of others before responding. By listening carefully to those who offer criticism, pastors can gain valuable insights into improving their teaching, leadership, or decision-making. Also, remember, hurting people hurt people. This realization means you may need the perspective and expertise of others to help you respond.

4. Seek wisdom from mentors

Proverbs 11:14 states, “For lack of guidance a nation falls, but victory is won through many advisers.” This verse reminds us, as pastors, that we do not have to face criticism alone. Seeking the advice and guidance of trusted advisors can help us navigate difficult situations. By seeking wise counsel from mentors, elders, or fellow pastors on staff, we can gain valuable insights into responding to criticism in a way that reflects God’s love and wisdom.

5. Be gracious and Christlike

I’ve encountered the greatest turmoil and stress from criticism when I haven’t fully leaned into a Christlike response. Ephesians 4:2–3 instructs us to “be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.” This passage highlights the importance of responding to criticism with love and patience, seeking to maintain unity and peace in the church.

We can always take the “high road” as pastors, no matter how low, unfair, and even evil the source or nature of the criticism may be. If responding in a self-serving way feels like too great of a temptation, we can pray for God’s strength to deliver us from that impulse. By responding graciously and Christlike, we can model the love and wisdom of God to our congregations, even in the face of criticism.

Be encouraged, my fellow pastor. Let’s remember the words of our Savior: “If the world hates you, remember that it hated Me first” (John 15:18).

©2023 Josh Weidmann. All rights reserved. Used with permission.