Four Gospel Goals Every Pastor Should Pursue in Their Parenting

Estimated reading time: 7 minutes

Parenting and grandparenting for pastors can be heart-wrestling work. The joys and blessings of raising the next generation take us from heart-exhilarating mountain peaks to the heartbreaking valleys of trial. Add to that the pressures of the ministry and your family life being in a fishbowl for the whole congregation to see, and parenting brings unique challenges for pastors.

So what keeps us as parents and pastors steadfast in the journey? It is a one-word answer: the Gospel. The Gospel is our salvation, our hope, and our help. The Gospel is the message that saves us, but it is also the truth that sustains us. This is true for all parents, but it is crucial for pastors to remember this and keep it close to their hearts.

Review the following four goals for a quick gospel tune-up.

Preach the Gospel to yourself

There is no substitute for keeping up with a steady diet of Gospel review. Everyone can say praise the Lord when all is well. But what keeps us steady in life’s storms? Knowing that Jesus can rebuke the tempest with three words, “Peace be still” (Mark 4:39), can help us hold fast. Remember the disciples in the boat? They panicked when the storm threatened to capsize the boat. They woke Jesus, who asked, “Why are you so afraid?” Jesus turns to the tempest and orders the storm to cease. Remembering Jesus and his love for those who follow him can calm us in life’s storms.

We live out our lives before our children. They are watching, you know. They learn far more about our faith and trust in Jesus from how we live our lives than from a thousand words we speak. There is no substitute for spending time in God’s Word so we don’t forget the amazing Gospel truths we once learned. Let me remind you of a single gospel verse that will reinvigorate your soul to prove my point.

“He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?” Romans 8:32.

Want to be encouraged more? Take a moment and read the context of the verse. Look up Romans 8:31-39. Review the Gospel and the promises which come with it, and be freshly filled with joy and hope for whatever life throws at you today.

Remembering what God the Father did in giving up his Son for us stirs our faith and fills our speech with a God confidence, and sends our doubts running. Our children and grandchildren can sense our belief in the Gospel. Nothing forces our kids to think harder than observing our strong faith in God.

Share the Gospel Story

Once we remind our hearts of all God the Father has done in sending his Son Jesus, we are called to pass on the truth we know to our children and grandchildren. If climbing Mt. Everest were how our children got saved, every Christian parent would plan their journey to Nepal and hire a sherpa to lead them up to the summit, yet we too often discount the power of the gospel story to transform hearts and lives. Don’t give up telling the story. Paul very simply tells us, “Faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ” (Romans 10:17). Paul explained it clearly to the Romans, “How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have never heard?” (Romans 10:14).

When your kids are young, invest in a library of Gospel-rich resources and read them to your children. The more you read, the more your children will gain a love for reading. Few things can reclaim your kids from their techno screens than a good book read aloud.

As your children grow, share what you read in your devotions. When God touches your life through a sermon, Bible passage, or someone giving a testimony, don’t just keep it to yourself. Share it with your kids!

Spend time reading the Bible together using one of the many family devotional resources written in the last ten years. A great time to do family devotions is after dinner before dessert. There is a rule you can implement to ensure success with family devotions—no devotions, no dessert. Connecting a ten-minute devotion to a carton of ice cream will help everyone remember to pull out the Bible and sit it next to Dad’s plate.

The Gospel Paul wrote to the Romans, “is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Romans 1:16). The words of the Gospel—the story of Christ’s life, death, and resurrection is what the Spirit of God used to save us. It is what the Spirit of God will use to save our children. Only the Gospel can save your ten-year-old self-confident daughter, and only the Gospel can reach your prodigal Son.

Remember, God does the saving

God calls us to share the story of the Gospel and then leave the results to God. We plant the seeds of the Gospel, then water those seeds with our prayers, but only God causes our planted seeds to grow.

It is easy to stay in our lane with compliant children who are responsive to our instructions but much more difficult when they refuse to listen. We love our children and desperately want them to trust God. When our children rebel against us or say they don’t want to follow God, it is easy to react like the disciples in the boat during the storm and become afraid. Fear leads to panic and rash reactions.

Even something wonderful like our children’s salvation can become a ruling desire leading to anger and frustration. Then we step into God’s lane and try to become the Holy Spirit and ensure they feel convicted over their sin, or worse, we play the role of sovereign judge of our universe and unleash our wrath for what they have done to us and the family. James reminds us, “the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).

So what can we do when we get frustrated that our children are not listening? We go back to the top of this list and review the Gospel and all that God has done, get our hearts right, then keep sharing the story.

Older wayward children who don’t want to hear the Gospel are still watching. They can sense when we’ve given up, which only confirms their unbelief. But when we remind ourselves of the Gospel’s power and keep hold of our gospel anchor, it testifies to the truth. Prodigals might say they don’t believe, but let’s never give them reason to doubt our belief.

Partner with God in prayer

While we can’t save our children, we can partner with God through prayer. If the disciples had ever found themselves on the sea in a second storm, they would remember Christ’s power and would have gone to Jesus and asked him to please rebuke the wind and the waves.

Let’s remember to reach out to Jesus amid our parenting storms. God can reach our children. Our children can’t escape his reach. David pointed out in Psalm 139 that our kids can’t run from God. If they make their bed in Sheol, he is there! If they fly to the uttermost parts of the sea, even there, God’s hand will hold them. Your arm may not have the reach to touch your wayward kids. But no matter how old or far away from God they are, God’s arm is never too short to save.

A lesson from a lawn sprinkler

Our lives are like lawn sprinklers. A lawn sprinkler doesn’t have much effect on its surroundings when the water supply is off. But turn the water on, and everything gets wet! The bottom line is that when we turn on the gospel faucet to our lives and our faith is strong, our children and grandchildren see it. When we are filled with the joy of our salvation, that joy sprays out to everyone in the room. So, start at the top of the list and turn on the gospel faucet. Dive back into the Word and be affected by all God has done for you. Then watch the overflow from your life water the souls of everyone around you, including your kids.