Five Signs a Pastor Needs a Vacation

Imagine yourself sitting behind the control panel in your church’s sound booth. Don’t worry. I’m not a techy either, so you won’t have to know what all those knobs do to understand my point. In your mind, notice the columns of lights that bounce up and down as the volume on a mic changes. Each column starts yellow (too quiet) gets orange in the middle (sounds about right) and then turns red (people start sending unpleasant emails).

That’s a picture of how we should think about each of these five signs that you, as a pastor, need a vacation. Each sign has a mild, moderate, and severe level. Just because a sign is present doesn’t mean you need to freak out. It does mean that it is an area of our life we should pay attention to and begin to gauge its intensity.

Sign One: Nothing Feels “Small”

“A gentle answer turns away wrath,” most of us in ministry have memorized Proverbs 15:1. Do you know what’s essential to giving a gentle answer? A sense of proportionality. Do you know what dissipates as we drift toward burnout? A sense of proportionality. Do you know what’s worse? A sense of proportionality doesn’t just help us regulate anger, but also anxiety, depression, and other disruptive emotions.

Pay attention when you hear colleagues or family members responding to you with, “It’s okay. I’ll take care of it. Don’t let that stress you out… I can tell this isn’t a good time, so I’ll come back later… Is something wrong? I didn’t expect that to bother you this much… You haven’t seemed like yourself recently. What’s going on?” That’s likely a sign you need a break to recalibrate. It isn’t a sign that people are against you. It means they’re not sure how to be for you.

Sign Two: Critics Invade Your Quiet Time

Read Philippians 1. Notice that Paul’s critics got into his head too. Paul knew how he should think about those who opposed him. He gave divinely inspired advice on how to respond to critics. But if you read this chapter and the rest of Philippians, it’s hard to miss how often Paul mentioned these folks. This is an example of why we can be grateful that God divinely inspired an inerrant book via human authors. We can relate to what was sticky in Paul’s mind.

It’s a red flag when horizontal conflict begins to haunt your vertical recharging times. Don’t pretend this challenge doesn’t exist. Faith doesn’t require us to be fake. God invites us to be honest. Let God know, “I’m struggling. I’m trying to talk to you, but I keep drifting into arguing with them. Like Paul, in Philippians, I don’t want to vilify those who want to do things differently, but I do want to be free to enjoy you as my source of strength. Help me.”

Sign Three: Guilt Becomes Your Emotional Caffeine 

As pastors, we are good at cracking the whip of guilt to jolt our souls to give more when ministry is hard. We think things like, “No one said ministry would be easy… Jesus didn’t quit when he was tired, therefore I shouldn’t either… If I don’t [blank], then no one else will… If I were a faithful pastor, I wouldn’t be discouraged by [blank].” You know how you talk to you. You can probably pick each of these statements apart when you read them in my voice. But when they ping pong in your mind, they seem so convincing.

What’s the biggest problem with this type of thinking? Each of them is appealing to God’s disapproval and anger to motivate change. That is at odds with Romans 2:4 that reminds us that God intended his kindness to draw us to repentance. If we need to repent, we should know that God is for us. But when we use guilt to jolt us out of fatigue, we assume our limitations are sinful. Often, if our perspective was clearer, we would hear God saying, “Come to me when you are weary and heavy-laden. I want to give you rest (Matt. 11:28 paraphrased).”

Sign Four: Sleep Isn’t Replenishing 

Do you remember what God did for Elijah when he felt defeated, even after a major victory, in ministry? He told Elijah to get some rest and eat (I Kings 19). Psalm 127:2 says that God gives rest to his people; that is, rest is a gift tGod wants us to enjoy. When we, like Elijah, struggle to enjoy something God wants to give us, that should serve as a warning.

In that sense, bad sleep isn’t just a nuisance; it’s also an alarm. Imagine your child comes home from school. You made them their favorite meal. They barely pick at it. A good parent instinctively asks, “What’s wrong?” The inability to enjoy an intended blessing sparks concern, “Are you sick? Did something happen?” More important than the blessing is the desired conversation. That’s how God’s responds when intended blessings, like sleep, don’t provide the blessing he intends.

Sign Five: Forgetfulness and Diminishing Returns 

The older we get, the more this happens. Sigh. But sometimes our forgetfulness and decrease in productivity aren’t a function of age. Instead, they are the byproduct of being cognitively and emotionally saturated. We try harder and harder but produce less. The gap between our intentions and execution grows. The resulting sense of pressure and failure we feel only makes it worse.

Remember the parable of the talents (Matt. 25:14-30). God does not distribute his resources equally, but he judges each person fairly. We usually think of this parable individualistically, “Some people are just more talented than others.” But it also applies to the same person across their lifespan, “I used to be able to do more than I can now, and God judges me fairly in each season of life.” That’s always true. But sometimes a vacation is the best way to restore some of that previous capacity.

Next Step

So, what if one or more of these signs are blinking orange or red in your life? If that is you, here are three steps to consider.

First, be honest with yourself and God. There is no shame in being finite. That was God’s design. This article was meant to be a tool to facilitate this kind of honesty by giving you words and categories for your experience.

Second, talk up your org chart. Whoever you report to at the church, initiate a conversation where you simply say, “I’m tired, and because of that I’m afraid that my 100% is 60% of what it used to be. Can we talk about a strategic vacation?” Hiding your limits only makes each of these signs more severe.

Third, rest, don’t just take a vacation. Going to the beach or mountains isn’t magically restorative. Consider what would make a vacation truly restful for you. Put forethought into the vacation. Tailor the time off to the kind of activities that settle and recharge you. Then receive and engage this time with the emotional freedom that comes from knowing it is a gift that both God and your church want you to have.

©2024 Brad Hambrick. Used with permission.