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Four Ways to Encourage Foster Parents in the Church

May is Foster Care Awareness Month. I’m not sure precisely who determines which months are set aside to celebrate which causes, but as someone who has been a foster parent, I am glad to have attention focused on this important work. As a pastor, I am particularly happy for anything that helps the church focus on this way that Christians can engage their communities with the love of Christ. 

By all accounts, Christians are involved in foster care at a significantly higher rate than the general populace, and that makes sense in light of the Bible’s repeated teaching that God’s people should imitate his character by loving those who are most in need (e.g., Psalm 146:9, Luke 10:25-37, James 1:27). Many churches that teach the Bible to their members will see some of them engage in the foster care system, and this means that church leaders must prepare themselves to equip and strengthen their congregations in this work. 

With that in mind, here are four ways that pastors can instruct their churches and so encourage the members who are participating in foster care:

1. Teach the Doctrine of Sin 

Most foster care situations are caused by some combination of addiction, ignorance, violence, neglect, or abuse. For many Christians who have been spared these evils by the grace of God, it can be shocking and disorienting to see the ways that sin manifests itself in people’s lives. Any thin and naïve confidence that we might have in the goodness of humanity won’t last long once you’ve waded into the ways that some parents abuse and neglect their children. 

What believers need is a firm grasp of the Bible’s teaching about the nature of sin’s effects – that by nature all human beings are enslaved (John 8:34, Romans 6:16), blinded (II Corinthians 4:4), spiritually dead (Ephesians 2:1), and hopeless without God (Ephesians 2:12). In fact, considering the biblical evidence, the real surprise is not the horrifying effects of sin but that in God’s common grace this kind of wickedness is not the norm in our society. A believer who has been well taught regarding sin can vigorously oppose evil without despairing, even while remaining appropriately compassionate toward those under sin’s power.  

2. Teach Your People to Put Their Hope in God’s Sovereignty

Our first foster experience was caring for a teenage girl who had been sold into sexual slavery by her mother. She was torn between enjoying the safety of our home and her sense that she was supposed to be earning money for her family by selling her body to strangers. There were times when my wife and I were discouraged and tempted to despair in light of the situation. The questions came easily and threatened to overwhelm us: why would God allow a child to suffer in this way? Why would God give a child to such a wicked woman while we know many faithful and loving people who are unable to have children of their own? What possible difference could we make in light of the massive and generational economic, social, and cultural forces that led a woman to do such a thing to her child?

To wade into the depths of sin and misery, believers must greatly delight in God’s sovereignty and goodness. We may not understand why He ordains what He does, but we can be confident that He will work all things for his glory and the good of his people (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28). If God can plan and use the lawless and wicked murder of his own Son for our salvation (Acts 2:23), we can trust Him ultimately to triumph over all sin and evil.

3. Teach Your People That the Christian Life is Sacrifice and Service

When we first began fostering, we were surprised by how many Christians responded negatively, as if we were doing something wrong by bringing a needy child into the ecosystem of our family. Some believers scolded us, reminding us that our first obligation was to the five children the Lord had already given us. Others made their disapproval clear through backhanded compliments, saying something along the lines of, “That’s so good of you to do… but I could never do that to my children.” 

While there is some element of wisdom in what they say – surely not every family situation is conducive to including foster children – we were surprised how many people assumed that anything that called for sacrifice or service was de facto harmful for our family. But the good life, as the Bible describes it, is not primarily ease and comfort, but the pursuit of heavenly treasure through service and sacrifice for the cause of Christ (Matthew 6:19-21, Mark 8:34, John 13:14-15). If we don’t teach our people that life does not consist of ease and wealth but of being rich toward God (Luke 12:15-21), very few will be willing to invest their lives in loving needy strangers through foster care. 

4. Compel Believers with the Joy of the Gospel, Not the Burden of Guilt 

The quickest and easiest way to motivate people is with the burden of guilt. If you press them on the weight of the need for foster parents and make them feel some measure of responsibility for the problem, some of the more dutiful people in your church will be willing to serve to relieve their feelings of obligation. But there will likely be little joy and pleasure in their service, and they will likely reach a point where the sense of duty can no longer sustain the sacrifice required.

The gospel message tells us that God has loved us at great expense – that the Lord Jesus gave up his life so that we could be brought out of our spiritual need and into the family of God. As we conform ourselves to the image of the Lord Jesus and as the logic and pattern of the gospel penetrate deeper into our hearts, acts of love and service like fostering will seem less like a burden and more like an opportunity to live out the life of Christ in us. 

It’s good that May is Foster Care Awareness Month, but we must lay the foundation for a culture of sacrificial love in our congregation year-round. It will do little good for a pastor to encourage his people to engage in foster care if they do not understand the connection between that kind of service and the gospel message. But if we can teach our people to wade into the depths of human misery without despair and with their confidence firmly in the Lord, then they may well be able to serve as the light of Christ in some dark places.

Find out more about Focus on the Family’s foster and adoptions ministry, Wait No More,™ at waitnomore.org.

©2024 Michael McKinley. Used with permission.

About The Author

Michael McKinley
Michael McKinley

Mike McKinley is the Lead Pastor at Sterling Park Baptist Church, near Washington, DC. In addition to his pastoral duties, Miked has authored roughly a dozen books.

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