Generation Z and Sexuality: A Pastoral Perspective

Those born after 1996 (the official last year of the millennial generation) are a part of this developing population named Generation Z (or Gen Z for short). Many observable characteristics of this generation are distinct from their previous counterparts. The Pew Research Center gives this generation many distinguishing marks, such as promoting cultural diversity, being highly educated, and growing up digitally native.

One of the surprising characteristics of this developing group is its view of sexuality. As far as we know, this generation is more averse to casual and gratuitous sexual interactions. A recent survey by UCLA states that 38% of Californians aged 18-30 reported having no sex, a 16% increase from the same age group in 2011.

This trend in decreased sexual activity has also shaped media preferences. Gen Z desires media content and movies to emphasize meaningful relationships and cringes at gratuitous sexual content. The generation that has grown up in the COVID era has found themselves longing for meaning and recognizing the false promises of casual connection in this digital age. There is much that researchers still don’t know about Gen Z, but it is evident that the desire for meaningful relationships and the internal challenges of unfulfilled desires are having visible effects on their attitudes and actions.

The interplay of these dominant factors in the hearts of young people challenges pastoral care to leverage gospel influence to develop young people in godly character and hope in a winsome way. Here are a few open gospel opportunities to make meaningful discipleship connections with the distinct sexual challenges facing Gen Z.

Listen to them

The desire to be known and loved is embedded into what it means to be human (Col. 3:12-15). The heartache from distant and unfulfilling relationships is evidence of the implications of living in a broken world. This broken world is not the result of sociological breakdowns but of breaking man’s foundational relationship with God through sin (Gen 3:1-24). Identifying this fundamental desire helps orient today’s generation to verbalize their discontent and be intellectually honest with the longings of their heart, which they recognize as being disconnected from sexual encounters. As they share, listen for the ways their story is redeemed through the story of reconciliation through the gospel (Eph. 2:1-22).

Orient their desires

The despair of isolation and dissatisfaction with the world’s offerings have drawn Gen Z hearts inward. Who can blame them? The world has told them to find happiness and fulfillment in themselves. The pursuit of love within the self has left them empty and full of despair. They have listened to the promises of mass media and have found fake news as it relates to the world around them and the world within them. The lack of interpersonal sexual contact could come from, in part, the seemingly unending online access to pornographic content. The direction forward is not to self-medicate to deaden those desires or find new expressions of the sexualized self. The pathway forward is the direction back to the foundational truths in God’s word (II Tim. 3:16; Heb 4:12). God has designed humanity to experience fulfilling desires and emotions within the framework of holiness (Col. 3:16-17).

Affirm their relationships

The most genuine form of media for Gen Z is still social media (TikTok in particular). This generation may find expressions of genuineness in the social media they consume, but they are left still wanting. That’s because the place God designed for relationships to flourish is within the context of the local church (Rom. 12:1-21). Only within the unifying expression of our identity in Christ can we navigate through each season of life and bring belonging that spans the test of eternity (Eph. 4:1-32). This generation is feeling the existential angst that humanity has felt for generations. Pastors must affirm that they can satisfy their longings in relationships in the place God has designed for that purpose.

Develop digital literacy

Digital life has become an essential part of real life. Generation Z is the first digitally native generation. They have never experienced a life without the internet and smartphones. This means there is an over-familiarity and an early-adopting mindset regarding tech and its implementation into their everyday life. This posture can lead to exposure and enslavement to pornographic material and communities. The access to porn has shaped their adverse attitude toward gratuitous sexual encounters but has not decreased personal sexual appetites. This is just one obvious interpersonal developmental implication of the digitally native. There is hope (Rom. 6:11-14; Psalm 119: 9-11)¹. This generation has a high level of interest in education. They also seek out valuable and meaningful relationships and experiences. But they are passive when it comes to the digital space. The opportunity is to engage them in an intentional digital life. The contrast between the real life in Christ and the expression of digital life can shape their hearts.

These strategies are not new frameworks for Generation Z. These are ancient truths applied to this cultural moment. That is the power of the message of the gospel for each generation. As pastors, our calling is to bring to bear the truth of God’s word into the hearts of the people under our care (I Thess. 2:8). The context may shift and change, but the truth remains. The beauty of the gospel is not found in its truth but in its power to transform those bound by it. So preach it, model it, and promote it, and by God’s grace, apply it to this generation for God’s glory and their satisfying pleasure.

©2023 Joe Keller. Used with permission.

1. The best works for any generation on how to address and counsel others entrenched in the sin of pornography are the companion books Rescue Plan and Rescue Skills by Deepak Reju and Jonathan Holmes (P&R publishing, Philipsburg). ↩︎