6 Ways to Walk with Others Through Trials

If you are a Christian, there is a good chance you know someone in the midst of trial. That “chance” becomes almost a certainty if you are a pastor. Perhaps you are going through your own “fiery trial” at the moment. As Don Carson puts it, “All we have to do is live long enough, and we will suffer.” 

Pastors should always prepare their people for the suffering they will eventually experience. “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you” (1 Peter 4:12). Those who expect to suffer will inevitably be better equipped to face it when it shows up. 

As Christians experience trials and suffering, it is vital for them to lean into the Body of Christ. In tandem with that, it is vital for the Body of Christ to lean into the sufferer. The Christian lives life in community, not isolation. 

Here are six ways pastors (and Christians in general) can walk with others through trials.  

1. Be present

When suffering strikes, it is natural to feel alone. The sufferer desperately needs comfort, care, and a shoulder to cry on. 

You might remember when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11:1-44). When Jesus heard that he was ill, He determined to go to Bethany not only for Lazarus’ sake but also for the sake of Mary and Martha. The whole story powerfully illustrates Jesus’ compassion and empathy, highlighted by the shortest verse in the Bible, “Jesus wept” (John 11:35). Our Lord could have healed Lazarus from afar, but he chose to be physically present, which opened the door for Him to minister to many more people in the process.

If you are a pastor or church leader, create a culture of care within your congregation. Strive to “be present” as much as you can. But the pastor can’t do it all. Encourage and empower your people to come alongside one another in times of need.  

2. Remind your people of God’s character

It is natural to be self-focused in pain and suffering. Instead of seeing God, humans struggle to see beyond themselves. Their “stuff” seems so overwhelming and insurmountable that they cannot see anything else. 

To best help the sufferer, you must help them see God. Whether they know it or not, He is there in the midst of it all! He has told His people, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Having a pastor or friend remind them of this can be hugely impactful.

God is sovereign, and all His ways are perfect. Unlike us, He never says, “Oops!” He is near and imminent. He is gentle and lowly in heart (Matthew 11:28-30). Every believer needs to be regularly reminded of God’s character. How much more so the sufferer?   

3. Remind your people of the power of suffering

In my Christian walk, the most significant catalyst for growth has been seasons of trials. You might not put it that strongly, but tribulation is a powerful sanctifying agent in our lives. That is why the Bible says, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you face trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness, and let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing” (James 1:2-4). 

Remind the sufferer that God will use their pain for good (Romans 8:28). Remind them that one day they will be able to look back and praise God for how they grew and matured through their ordeal. 

Sometimes our Heavenly Father uses trials for discipline and correction. “The Lord disciplines the one he loves” (Hebrews 12:6). Sometimes, our Heavenly Father uses trials to prepare His people for future service. Sometimes God uses suffering so that the sufferer can comfort others in their affliction (2 Corinthians 1:3-7).  

In short, suffering is powerful! God will not let it go to waste. 

4. Encourage your people to cry out to God

One of the major genres of the Psalter is that of lament. A lament is a prayer of desperation that emerges from pain. Although I could point to many, Psalm 13 is an example. The first verse explains, “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?” It continues in that same vein for the rest of the Psalm before ending on a hopeful note (verses 5-6).  

Early in my Christian walk, I believed that I had to stuff my emotions and stoically deal with them when life was hard. I reasoned that it was probably my fault anyway, and God didn’t want to hear about all my struggles and frustrations. 

Then I started to read the Psalms. 

Over and over, I read as David (or another Psalmist) cried out to God in desperation. This was revolutionary for me.     

If you can walk with someone through suffering, let them know it’s okay to be transparent with God. Life is hard sometimes. Suffering is real. Encourage them not to sugarcoat. It is always best to be honest and open with our Heavenly Father regarding struggles, pain, questions, frustrations, etc. 

Generally speaking, comfort and healing do not come to those who are less than honest about their situation. Like the Psalmists of old, those in deep suffering and grief need lament. God already knows their heart. He alone can help, and they must cry out to Him for deliverance.     

5. Encourage them to be patient in suffering

Most of us need to grow in the area of patience. We sometimes hear people say, “Never pray for patience.” In reality, patience is one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23), which we all desperately need. 

As you walk with a brother or sister through trials, continually shine the spotlight on God and His sovereign purposes. Their tribulation might end next week. Or, it could stretch on for months. God only knows. Whatever the case, they can rejoice in suffering. Why? Because suffering produces endurance, character, and hope (Romans 5:3-5). 

Indeed, God’s ways are not our ways. Though often hidden from us, God has a plan for our pain, and we can trust Him! The Bible says, “be patient in tribulation” (Romans 12:12). God often uses suffering to produce patience and endurance. Be encouraged! 

6. Preach Christ!

I’ll never forget one Sunday after church, a woman who had just lost her husband commented, “Your preaching ministers to me in my grief.” I could not have heard a better compliment. The only reason she could say that was because I was preaching the gospel, and the gospel is filled with hope. 

Indeed, the gospel is the greatest news in the world. The stunning news that the Son of God took on flesh and blood, entered into our suffering, gave His life as a ransom for many, and rose again is the means of our hope and deliverance.  

Christians don’t serve a God immune from suffering—quite the opposite. Jesus entered in our suffering and became the “Man of sorrows” (Isaiah 53:3). The preacher’s privilege and solemn responsibility are to preach Christ – His death, resurrection, and Kingdom reign.  

In an ultimate sense, Jesus suffered so we don’t have to! He bore our sins so that we don’t have to! He carries His people through pain and suffering and has equipped us to minister to one another through these same trials. 

Praise God! 

©2023 Daniel Stegeman. All rights reserved. Used with permission.