The Fruit of the Spirit is Kindness: Forbearance with the Weaknesses of Others

Mercy, grace, and kindness are integrally related. Mercy means not getting what you deserve; grace means getting what you don’t deserve; and kindness means forbearance with another person’s weaknesses and limitations.

God’s Kindness Toward Weak Sinners

God is exceedingly kind. Repeatedly in his writings, Paul speaks of “the riches of [God’s] kindness and forbearance and patience,” which is meant to lead people to repentance (Rom. 2:4). By contrast, apart from spiritual regeneration, no fallen sinner does kindness, “not even one” (Rom. 3:12).

God doesn’t pronounce His kindness toward people who were not originally part of his chosen people: “Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God’s kindness to you [Gentiles], provided you continue in his kindness” (Rom. 11:22).

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul rehearses the fact that his recipients, prior to conversion, were spiritually dead and “by nature children of wrath” (Eph. 2:1, 3). “But God,” in a glorious turn of events, “being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 2:4–7).

In this momentous passage celebrating God’s amazing salvation in Christ, we find mercy, grace, and kindness inextricably wedded together. Aware of our desperate need, weakness, and natural limitations, God did it all—he raised us to new life in Christ and granted us a secure status in heaven in Him so that in the age to come, “he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.”

Kindness a Fruit of the Spirit

In a similar passage, Paul writes in a later epistle, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy,” adding, “He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior” (Titus 3:4–6).

This later passage helps us connect God’s kindness and the work of the Spirit—the same connection as that made in Galatians, where Paul speaks of kindness as one of the fruits of the Spirit.

As in the case of the other virtues, God’s Spirit works kindness in us. The Spirit makes us aware of our weaknesses and shortcomings and impresses on us an appreciation for God’s kindness and our need to extend the same kindness to others.

Extending Kindness toward One Another

Given God’s kindness toward us, therefore, we’re called to treat one another with kindness as well: “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col. 3:12–13). We should remember that others, like we are, are sinful and frail and beset with many weaknesses and limitations. We should treat them like God treats us—with kindness, humility, meekness, and patience.

To give a few specific practical examples, husbands can be kind toward their wives, living with them “in an understanding way” and honoring them as fellow heirs of grace (1 Pet. 3:7). Fathers can refrain from provoking their children, “lest they become discouraged” (Col. 3:21). Wives can be kind toward their husbands and show them respect (Eph. 5:33). Mature women can inspire young women to be kind (Titus 2:5). Or you can buy your enemy lunch (Prov. 25:21)! Kindness, an inner disposition expressed through various kind acts or gracious words, exhibits regard for other people’s weakness and limitations in a spirit of benevolence and honor.

Pastoral Implications

The church is not always a place where kindness reigns. People are often critical of their leaders and each other. They are oblivious to their own failings and imperfections yet keenly aware of the shortcomings of others.

As leaders, we have the wonderful opportunity to model kindness from the pulpit and in our dealings with others in the church. By our own example and verbal instruction, we can help the people in our congregation value kindness and practice this often-neglected virtue.

Just this morning, I went through a drive-thru at my local coffee shop. When I got ready to pay, the cashier told me the person ahead of me had already paid for me. At first, I didn’t know what to say. Then, I took my coffee and food and drove off, grateful for my anonymous benefactor and renewed in my resolve to extend kindness to others.

On an eternal scale, God is prepared to show kindness toward those who are still in their sin and apart from Christ. Sharing the gospel with unbelievers is indeed a supremely kind act. They may not realize they are in great need of kindness, but they are.

May the Spirit prompt you and me to extend the ultimate act of kindness by telling others about the love, mercy, and grace of the Lord Jesus Christ.

©2024 Andreas Köstenberger. Used with permission.