How Can Pastors Encourage Bringing Children to Church?

In Matthew 19:14, Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 

It’s a well-known verse, posted in nurseries and Sunday School rooms around the world. It’s well-known because we so clearly see the tender heart of Jesus towards children. And yet, while it is tender, it is also a theologically loaded verse because we see that the kingdom of heaven belongs to such. And for that reason, children are to come to Jesus.

Jesus will rebuke anyone who hinders a child from coming.

It is true that a child (or adult) can come to Jesus at any time and location. The Spirit is in all places at all times. This is what “God is omnipresent” means. And yet, there is a set-apart time and place when God meets with his people in a special way—the Lord’s Day worship each Sunday morning. The church is not the kingdom of heaven but the institution where we most clearly see and feel the kingdom. It is the body of which Jesus is head. With that in mind, my fellow pastor, why would we prolong for years the process of helping kids attend church?

We live in an age that over-caters to every single felt need of children. We specially design every moment of every day so that our children receive what we perceive they need most. Have our churches considered that in the name of over-catering, we might be keeping children from what is best?

Too Child-Centered?

There is some wisdom in caring specifically for children, but there are also some concerns, especially in the church. While we certainly want to care for children in helpful ways, we don’t want to become so overly child-centered [LS1] [JS2] [JS3] that we fail to minister in the ways that God designed. Sadly, many churches have become so child-focused that they keep children from coming to the most important thing in the Christian life—Sunday morning worship! In the name of specialized children’s ministry, kids are not attending church. Instead, we herd them off to a different part of the building to learn—albeit good content but still learning outside of the Sunday service. The hope should be that children will be present in worship at a very young age, participating—even with squirmy bodies and small attention spans—in the ordinary means of the grace God has provided.

All pastors agree we want to disciple our children into young men and women who grow into adults who love the Lord with all their heart, mind, soul, and strength (Luke 10:27). There are many important aspects of discipleship for children in our churches—reading the Bible with parents in the home, Christian education, encouraging friendship amongst fellow kids—but the central component of Christian discipleship revolves around the gathering of God’s people every Lord’s Day as we participate in a service of divine reconciliation, where God ministers to us by word and sacrament.

If the kingdom belongs to those such as children, it only make sense for kids to be in the service.

Including Children in Sunday Worship

As a fellow pastor (and father of 5), I offer a few thoughts for you to consider. We will move in descending order—from the principles to the practical.

1. There is “one Lord, one faith, one baptism” (Ephesians 4:5).

Therefore, there is one church, not two. One of the great testimonies of the early church is that it was very the first religion for all people. Both Jew and Greek, slave and free, male and female, rich and poor were in the church. The gospel was and is for all people. The ancient world was very much divided, perhaps even more than it is today. You would stick with your specific tribe. What a counter-cultural example it was when different types of Christians would gather together each Lord’s Day for worship. There was nothing else like it in the world.

The different ways in which the church is still divided is another discussion, but this is about the church and children. Because there is not a Jesus for adults and a different Jesus for children, there should not be adult churches and separate children’s churches. There is just one church. We share in the same baptism as our kids. We have all been baptized in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Therefore, we should never unnecessarily break up those God has brought together. Sadly, churches are often unintentionally schismatic, divided by sending children off to a separate “kids church.” We want to honor our common baptism by coming together as different people—even with different ages—each Sunday morning.

2. In the service of divine reconciliation, the movements of the gospel form us over time.

Christian sanctification is not usually quick. While we would all love for immediate change in our children, that is not how God designed it. We change from “one degree of glory to the next” (1 Corinthians 3:18). Many parents feel that church will go over the heads of our youngest members.

Yet, the gospel is slowly forming children each Sunday morning in worship. Children will see the sacraments. Children visualize the gospel in the baptismal water and distribution the bread and wine. Children can certainly sing. Children will hear the Lord’s Prayer and Apostles’ Creed repeated and slowly absorb the content.

Yes, there will be much from the sermon they will not understand. Be reminded of this so that at certain points you can address the children and make certain points clearer for them. But even with what they still miss, the impression of listening to God’s word will stick. That’s an important habit. Children will hear some things from the sermon—God, Jesus, repentance, love, gospel, etc. Over time, without even knowing it, the flow of the service will shape our children. The movement of the gospel flows from the Call to Worship, to Repentance and Pardon, Singing, Prayer, Listening, Partaking, and ending with a Benediction that sends us out into the world to do good. The gospel movement of the service will slowly form a child from not just external actions, but eventually internal personal faith.

3. It is healthy for children to see their parents engaged in worship.

Parents are the most important role models in a child’s life. We often think of kids who want to grow up and be like mommy or daddy. Or a little boy who is the spittin’ image of his dad. That’s all good and natural.

With that in mind, why keep kids from seeing their parents during the most important hour of the week? Our task is to train parents to train their children (Proverbs 22:6).

Training involves watching and imitating. Children should watch their parents worship.

As they do, they will see the earnest confessing and warm-hearted singing. And they will likely want to be like their parents and do the same. Again, young children will likely not understand all that a parent is doing each Sunday morning. But they are noticing. And they will imitate what they see. And that is a good thing.

4. Speaking now more of the practicals: children do not distract the pastors and the congregation as much as you might first think.

Most parents are often very aware of their fidgety children and tend to exaggerate how distracting they are to the greater body. Remind them this is ok and that their children are still welcome. Now, there is certainly a time when a family should leave—a crying kid would be an obvious example. But for the most part, little wiggles, squirms, and occasional talking is not distracting. A good pastor is not thrown off by the little kids but is encouraged to see them present in the service.

Kids are an important part of church life, meaning church life ought to include some small distractions. Lord’s Day worship is not a Broadway performance where people pay top dollar for a quiet theater. Lord’s Day worship is the gathering of God’s family—young and old. Some distractions are part of God’s design.

5. Think of creative ways to keep your children engaged.

Sitting for 90 minutes is a challenge for a child. As a pastor, help parents think of creative ways to help their children—a snack before the sermon, practice the songs beforehand, memorize the Apostle’s Creed as a family, and crayons for the children’s bulletin. Or maybe start with bringing kids to the first half of the service before leaving for the sermon. Starting with small steps might be wise.

It is unlikely that a child will sit perfectly still for the entire length of a service. That’s OK! They are just kids. Work with parents creatively so that, over time, children learn the discipline of sitting and listening. It takes some time. But the end goal is worth it.

Bringing little kids to church will take some work for both parents and the church at large. Yes, parents will likely get a little less out of the service. But if the aim of Sunday is to glorify God and enjoy him forever, why would we unnecessarily prolong [LS4] our youngest members from this unique privilege?

©2024 Jon Saunders. Used with permission.

  [LS1] child-centered?

 [JS2]

 [JS3]

 [LS4] hinder?