Honoring the Hurting on Mother's Day

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Mother’s day comes around on that second Sunday every year. For some it can feel like a beautiful reminder of what they have. But for others it is a painful reminder of what they don’t have and long for so deeply. For the believer, Mother’s Day falling on a Sunday, can sometimes make the holiday that much more painful. As they should be, mothers are praised during the announcements or the prayer time, and sometimes even from the pulpit. It is all good and right to give notice to and call out the amazing mothers all around us. But what about the women who don’t fall under the category of “mom?”

Unseen hurt

For me personally, I have been given the gift of motherhood. But I have also gone through the pain of loss in becoming a mother. Last year, I endured the pain of losing two sweet babies before I had the chance to hold them. My pain in miscarrying is different than that of infertility. But it opened my eyes to the sorrows that can come on Mother’s Day for those who are yearning for the gift of a sweet babe. I remember sitting there during the church gathering feeling so many emotions all while figuring out how to navigate through all of them.

How should I sift through my hurt? How do I still remember to be thankful, and not sit for too long in my sadness? We now draw near to that impending second Sunday. I want to encourage you, pastor, as you have been given the role of “shepherd,” to not let these waiting women go unseen this Mother’s Day.

How can you practically come alongside the woman who has that ache in her heart? How can you shepherd someone who often finds herself wondering why God hasn’t given her the gift of a child?

1. Let these women know that they are not invisible

One of the most painful parts of infertility is that it is often silent and unseen unless the woman decides to share her journey of waiting. It is good to celebrate the women who have been given the gift of Motherhood. However, it is also important to be sensitive to the grieving and heavy hearts of those who have not been given something that Scripture tells us is good and right to want (Psalm 127:3-5).

You may choose to acknowledge women enduring infertility during a time of prayer set aside in your sermon. Or, you might address those women directly in your sermon, or do some other gesture which allows for them to be remembered. Whatever you do, giving a nod to them will go an incredibly long way. Many women experience pain as they sit there with empty arms on a Sunday morning. Taking this time to acknowledge that demonstrates care and a sensitive heart towards their hurting. This is similar to how Jesus often acknowledged the hurting during his ministry here on earth.

2. Create an environment in your church body where lament is commonly practiced

When we encounter the hard subjects of a broken world, there is nothing in Scripture that tells us we can’t come to the Lord with our sorrows. The Psalms are laced with crying out to the Lord. In fact, there is even a whole book in the old testament based on lament – Lamentati ons. When we approach heavy things such as infertility, loss, and waiting, take time to be sure that you are cultivating a church body that knows when it is appropriate to come before the Lord and cry out to Him.(Psalm 34:18)

Model to your congregation what it looks like to bring your heart to Him (Psalm 119:76). Teach them what it looks like to go to the Lord in prayer. Show them how to beseech Him for good gifts while also waiting in obedience and patience for His perfect timing. Then model how to ask the Lord for trust in Him, even in the waiting — no matter how long that may be (Psa lm 77). Pastor, you have been given the unique gift of guiding your flock through heavy subjects such as grief and waiting. Take the opportunity on Mother’s Day and throughout the year to remind your people that, while we have much to be thankful to the Lord for, we are not promised that our prayers will be answered according to our will, but rather according to the Lord’s.

3. Remember these women year round

While it is often easier to remember what we have lost or haven’t been given during a time of celebrating something as beautiful as Mothers, it is important to be prayerful and mindful of the women in your congregation who are suffering through infertility, miscarriage, and infant loss year-round. Let these women be a regular part of your prayer life, not just as Mother’s Day approaches.

Besides you and your elder team, also be sure that the women in leadership roles in your church body are actively seeking to know the women in your church hurting in this way. The church body was specifically given so that believers can live in community while attending to each other’s needs(Acts 2:42-47). Be sure that, even regarding physical issues and needs, you are fostering an environment where your congregants are actively there for each other in prayer and fellowship, not just when life is going well.

Regardless of the reason, the waiting period can be heavy for anyone in your church body. Pray openly and privately that the hearts of your flock will remember the truths of His Word as they wait. Remind them regularly that we have a Lord who understands our grieving no matter the reason (Hebrews 4:15). But more specifically, remind the women in your church who are waiting, that they are not alone. There are believers who love them and want to walk alongside them as they navigate this Mother’s Day.