A Biblical Theology of Marriage: Why Pastors Can’t Stay Silent

What could be more self-evident than the biblical truth that God created humanity male and female? For centuries, pastors could legitimately take for granted that people in their congregation knew, understood, and affirmed the plain teaching of Genesis 1:27: 

So God created man in his own image,

in the image of God he created him;

male and female he created them.

In the wake of the Transgender Revolution, those days are gone. As Grove City College professor Carl Trueman compellingly documents, we live in a Strange New World. No longer does the Judeo-Christian worldview carry the day, according to which there is a Creator who embedded in the world a sacred, divine order.

Instead, in the postmodern spiritual vacuum in which we find ourselves, freedom of self-expression reigns supreme. Marriage, family, sex, and gender are open to negotiation and redefinition. The overriding maxim is “Whatever makes me happy,” and whoever stands in the way of my authentic self is an oppressor I must confront aggressively.

In such a “strange new world,” can the church afford to be silent? It has been said that the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good people to do (or say) nothing. And as the wise preacher said, there is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Ecclesiastes 3:7 ESV).

As one who cares deeply for what God’s word says about marriage and the family, I contend that this is a time to speak. I believe that the Transgender Revolution is a wake-up call for pastors to proclaim a robust biblical theology of manhood and womanhood to their people.

A Biblical Theology of Marriage

A basic sketch of the Bible’s teaching on manhood and womanhood proceeds from creation to the fall and from there to redemption and consummation in Christ. While revealed at creation, God’s design for man and woman was corrupted at the fall. It is being restored in Christ and will be completed in the new creation.

Creation

As Jesus pointedly stated, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female” (Matthew 19:4)? After creating humanity in binary fashion, God called upon the man and the woman to be fruitful and multiply, and to fill the earth and subdue it (Genesis 1:28). And God looked at his creation and declared it “very good” (Genesis 1:31). The way God designed it, the man and the woman were united in love, partnership, and purpose.

The account of God’s creation of the man and the woman ends with the declaration, “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:24–25, again echoed by Jesus: Matthew 19:5).

God’s plan is for the man to “hold fast” to his wife and for the man and the woman to “become one flesh” in sexual union. They are “both naked” yet “not ashamed,” a picture of total transparency, openness, and intimacy. God’s plan is one of complementarity and harmony as the man and the woman embrace his creation purpose. As Jesus solemnly declared, marriage is for life: “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate” (Matthew 19:6).

Fall

We know from painful personal experience that God’s plan was disrupted. The devil, a beautiful angel who rebelled against his Creator, subtly subverted the man’s and the woman’s relationship with God and each other. Where there had been harmony, there now was strife. Where there had been peace, there now was war.

God expelled the human couple from his immediate presence in the pristine garden where he had placed them. The man now must work the ground by the sweat of his brow, and the woman will experience pain in childbirth and struggle for control in her relationship with her husband. And yet, they groan for redemption and forgiveness, pining for a Redeemer.

Redemption

After centuries of waiting, the Redeemer arrived “in the fullness of time” in the person of Jesus Christ (Galatians 4:4). It is God’s good purpose to realign all creation under his authority (Ephesians 1:10), the only requirement being that the man and the woman trust in Christ’s sacrifice for them on the cross in repentance and faith.

In God’s new creation, the apostle Paul declares, “there is no male and female,” for believers “are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). This doesn’t mean that male-female distinctions are now eradicated. Rather, both men and women, God’s image bearers, are equally saved by Christ’s sacrifice. In Christ, they are reconciled to their Creator and each other.

God’s plan for humanity has not changed. It is still for the man and the woman to become one flesh and to be fruitful and multiply. As they are filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18), and as they put on the “full armor of God” (Ephesians 6:10–18), the man and the woman can live together in love, peace, and unity, partnering in raising children who trust, love, and serve God.

Consummation

As Jesus taught, there will be no marriage in heaven, but we will all be like the angels (Matthew 22:30). Believers will be spiritually united to Christ and once again enjoy living in God’s immediate presence.

At present, however, men are called to enjoy life with their wives whom they love, and wives are called to enjoy life with their husbands (Ecclesiastes 9:9). Marriage is a good gift graciously bestowed on men and women by their Creator.

James’ words are apropos: “Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:16–17).

Conclusion

God is constant, and his blueprint for human sexuality has not changed. Pastors, please share God’s design for man and woman with the people in your churches. This is not a time to be silent. It is a time to speak.

Let us build a strong biblical foundation in the minds and hearts of the people in our congregations, and especially in the next generation. Let us model healthy male-female relationships and cultivate biblical masculinity and femininity in our sons and daughters. Let us exhibit a positive attitude toward our bodies and the physical part of our existence.

Let us also exemplify a heart of compassion toward those who struggle with their sexual and gender identity. Let us weep and pray. Let us speak the truth in love. And let us bear bold witness to the goodness, wisdom, and beauty of God’s design.

As the apostle Paul writes, “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved” (Romans 8:22–24).

©2023 Andreas Köstenberger. Used with permission.