Caring Well for Your Worship Leader

In beekeeping, a little creature called the varroa mite has caused a great deal of havoc. This small parasite ferries itself from hive to hive and hides in the nursery. If it can avoid detection and get sealed up in the comb with a bee larva, it can leech off that developing bee completely undisturbed. Bees growing with a cellmate like the varroa mite are doomed to physical deformity and uselessness in the hive. It does not take long for the mites to spread and kill off an otherwise healthy colony of bees very quickly. The bees and their beekeeper must be on the lookout for these stealthy invaders and exorcise them immediately.

As a beekeeper on Saturday and a worship leader on Sunday, I’ve lived out this little parable of unseen pressures. Unfortunately, I’ve failed to notice the warning signs my own bees were sending me through my lack of awareness and simple observation. They suffered because of it. My job as a beekeeper is to know my bees and their needs so they can do their work without hindrance. Hive health and a good amount of sweetness is the grand prize for this diligence.

Every worship leader is under attack by a few sneaking pressures in their minds and hearts. To accomplish the task you have set before them, they need you, pastor, to be aware of their internal struggles.

Below are three common struggles that your average worship leader faces:

1. Critique

There is likely never a week that your worship leader has not received some form of critique regarding their ministry choices. By the end of Sunday morning, all manner of hidden experts emerge from the congregation to provide their commentary to an unsuspecting song leader about the sound, lighting, musical arranging, instrumentation, and more. Surely, we should all be quick to listen and slow to speak when a brother or sister in our church approaches us with concerns. But a meal can only handle so much salt.

When your worship leader has become inundated with comment after comment regarding their sphere of authority and decision-making, they tend to put up one of two defenses. They will either become calloused as a defense to protect themselves or become bruised and wearied by the constant blows. At that point, even the most thoughtful critique sounds like a diatribe to the benumbed worship leader. They can take every comment personally and every musical suggestion as a subtle jab at the leader’s ignorance at best or incompetence at worst.

When your worship leader leaves the stage on Sunday, they enter directly into the complaint department. Despite some genuinely good intentions, the average churchgoer isn’t aware that they are next in line in an invisible queue that stretches on week after week.

2. Comparison

To meet the high expectations of the leadership and congregation, many worship leaders will default to comparing themselves to their peers and other seemingly “successful” ministries. The global village that is our world affords us a window into just about every sphere of the lives of others, churches not excluded. In other words, the fence to the neighbor’s house is almost non-existent, and the windows have no blinds. If we want to know what such-and-such church is doing, we’re usually only a keystroke away from the answer.

Though social media and livestream technology have afforded churches the benefits of increased exposure, these technologies might also introduce an unpleasant side-effect. For many worship leaders, this level of exposure is like billows on the smoldering coals of personal pride and envy. They will never tell you they compare themselves to the Joneses, but they do. They see a “successful” church or fellow leader and strive to emulate their process, performance, or program. They see the bar of creativity and excellence skyrocketing all around them and are ever straining to meet the mark.

Regardless of their resources, your worship leader constantly wonders whether they are doing enough. Unchecked, that perpetual, comparative posture in your worship leader will either turn up their nose or give them a hunch. “I thank God that I am not like _______” is a strange medicine for the ego-sick leader.

In contrast, other worship leaders are quietly despondent. For them, not rising to the occasion of what so many other ministries have accomplished breeds despair. From their perspective, they are running in tenth place, and the lead runner has already crossed the finish line. Who wouldn’t be tempted to give up?

3. Competence

The attendance in most churches in the U.S. hovers around 100 people each Sunday. But, the churches we predominantly see and hear on popular streaming and social media platforms vastly exceed this number. Therefore, the litmus test for many worship leaders (again via comparison) is unreasonably off-balance. Those larger ministries (which are in the minority) employ full-time staff with the education, experience, and capacity to meet the expectations of modern worship ministry. But most churches lean on volunteers alone to do the job, especially the person who leads the music.

Unfortunately, the expectations on small-church volunteers and large-scale, vocational worship leaders in many ways remain the same. This means that most worship leaders in our churches feel underqualified or at least underequipped for their role. Because of this, they question their competence in ministry. The expectations are too high or unclear, and the resources are too thin to accomplish what is required.

Your average worship leader doesn’t feel like they measure up. With criticism filling their ears and comparison filling their eyes, their spirits are filling with questions of whether they are the right person for their role. Some may even question their calling. All are questioning their usefulness.

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Worship leaders struggle with critique, comparisons, and questions of competence. What they need most from you is to see those struggles and respond accordingly.

You, of all people, should acutely understand some similar struggles in your own role. You should be able to give the needed care and leadership to them as you keep watch over their spiritual health and their vital role in ministry.(Acts 20:28)

These are their greatest needs from you:

1. Biblical foundation

Provide your leader with the biblical foundation for their role. Show them the ‘what, why, and how’ of worship in the Scripture so they can articulate it clearly. When they feel a barrage of fingers pointed at their chest, they should be able to defend their actions in the light of Scripture. God’s design for His worship is their greatest defense against the pressures of performance.

Jesus Christ is the only One who leads us to the throne of God (John 14:6; Hebrew 4:14-16). Don’t allow your worship leader to believe anything less. Help them see their ministry, especially themselves, as God does. Get them out of their heads and into God’s Word to illumine their path of service in the kingdom and protect them from deception and doubt regarding their role.

2. Clear expectations

Even with the security of a theological anchor, your worship leader still needs to navigate through a sea of practicalities. Musical style, song choice, service transitions, volume, and other seemingly innocuous decisions will draw your worship leader into skirmishes if you have yet to create clear expectations on these issues. Your worship leader is serving at your direction. Do they know what you want? Or do they know the boundaries of the sandbox you’ve given them to play within? More importantly, do they know you have their back when they head into the fray ahead of you?

Provide your worship leader with the tools they need to accomplish the clear task you have set before them. Don’t give them a grapefruit if you want them to hammer a nail. All our ministries are on a spectrum when it comes to worship health. Some of us seek to grow in health, others maintain, and others heal from past trauma in this area. Does your worship leader know which situation they are in, or are they trying to fix what isn’t broken?

3. Encouragement and admonishment

Last but certainly not least, as a shepherd over the flock, you need to be acutely aware of the spiritual condition of your worship leader. What do you observe as you ponder the critique, comparison, and competency questions with which your leader struggles? Is your leader needing encouragement or admonishment (1 Thess. 5:12-14)?

Each pastor needs to assess the situation differently based on their context. Some of our churches are more gracious than others with their worship leaders. Some worship leaders are also more resilient, capable, or mature than others. Be consistent in your shepherding and speak frankly with your leader about their spiritual and practical needs. Ask them what resources they need to do their job well, what biblical understanding needs shoring up, and what matters of the heart you might speak into and intercede in prayer for them.

Encouragement is a salve that heals many wounds in the weary worship leader.

In contrast, some worship leaders need a potent dose of admonishment. Though many worship leaders are starving, others are fat and happy. This latter category does not pastorally accept the biting of the sheep and sometimes reacts by being defensive and maybe even retributive. Worship leaders with a wealth of talent and resources are also tempted to relax and slack off in their responsibilities. Worse yet, pride loves to lurk in the darkness just outside the spotlight. I’ve seen people walk their dogs, and I’ve seen dogs walk their people. How many worship leaders are being led by their egos instead of keeping it trained and under their control?

The shepherd’s responsibility is to know his sheep, including its leaders. Pastor, watch your worship leader closely for signs of arrogance, greed, quarrelsomeness, or any other indication they have allowed secret struggles to conceive secret sins. Even though unpleasant, Biblical admonishment brings healing through pain. Protect your worship leaders from themselves, and you’ll protect your church from them, too.

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By and large, the greatest need of every worship leader is for their pastor to come alongside them.

As Aaron and Hur held up the hands of a weary Moses so that the battle might be won for Israel (Exod. 17:8-13), so too pastors must be ready to lift the weary worship leader when the time comes. Care well for your worship leader, and you care well for your church.

©2023 Jon Gilmore. Used with permission.