How God Encourages Pastoral Families When Ministry Becomes Burdensome

Peter said to Jesus, “We have left everything to follow you!” (Mark 10:28)

A calling to vocational ministry often generates change. The one whom God has called must lay aside every well-intentioned plan that doesn’t mesh with God’s clarified direction. What did you leave behind when you decided to pursue God’s calling to pastoral ministry? Did you sacrifice the time and money you invested in training for another career field? Did you walk away from predictable work hours, a generous insurance policy, lucrative bonuses, or other attractive professional benefits? Maybe your losses were more relational than vocational.

Some who enter vocational ministry lose the approval or respect of unbelieving family members. If your calling required geographic separation from extended family while your kids were still living at home, then you also gave up the potential for bonding and practical support that often occurs when grandparents live nearby. 

When Peter went to Jesus and said, “We have left everything to follow you!,” Jesus responded with an astounding promise. It is a promise that encourages pastors when they might be tempted to feel the sacrifices of ministry have become too burdensome to bear:

“Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.” (Mark 10:29-30, emphasis mine)

This passage reminds us that our heavenly Father always gives more than he takes away. He truly possesses the resources to meet our needs. It isn’t merely Jesus’s words that lend us encouragement. It’s also his willingness to take Peter’s claim seriously. It’s audacious that Peter used the word everything when describing his sacrifices to Jesus – who temporarily set aside the glories of heaven to take on human skin and was willing to absorb the full force of God’s wrath. When Peter announced that he had left behind everything, Jesus could have dismissed that claim. His response reminds us that suffering isn’t a contest. Our compassionate Savior doesn’t compare his hardships to your own.

Instead, Jesus agreed with Peter that discipleship requires genuine sacrifice. Then he blessed Peter (and everyone who would follow in Peter’s footsteps) with a staggering promise that is both eschatological and readily available this side of eternity. When you pray about the burdens and losses you’ve incurred because you accepted Christ’s call to shepherd in his church, Jesus takes your pain seriously too. Jesus’ words encourage pastors to speak their losses to their Savior, believe that God has resources to meet those needs, and exhibit vulnerability within the church, which is often the source of God’s provision.

A month before our oldest son turned 1, my husband took a pastorate several hours away from our nearest family member. Over the next seven years that we ministered there, we experienced an array of trials common to young parents – difficult pregnancies, miscarriage, navigating the educational needs of each child, etc. Along the way, I became thoroughly depleted in ways that only my husband could see.

As a couple, we cried out to the Lord for help and shared our burdens with some trustworthy friends from church. God met many of our needs through the creative support of that congregation, and their creative support cemented our deep and lasting relationships within that church family! 

After we lost a baby to miscarriage, a friend from church told me she wanted to invite my family over for a Japanese-themed dinner and movie night. She removed all the pressure by making it open-ended – they’d be available once I felt well enough. I could not have predicted that an evening of lighthearted fun would be exactly what we needed in an otherwise dark season. Her concern and compassion were wise antidotes to my family’s sadness.

Another dear friend, whom my kids call Grammy, invited my youngest son to attend “Grammy Preschool” one day each week. This was a regularly scheduled day of fun that she hosted for her own grandsons. She did this because she loved my family, and she knew I would be blessed by having some breathing room in my schedule. Another family contracted with a trusted college student in our church to provide us with 50 hours of free babysitting. We still don’t know who gave us that gift, but those date nights were a lifeline for my marriage during a very strenuous season. These gifts from the Lord were more than I could have asked for or imagined. God’s provision is always superlative. We don’t need to tell God how to meet our needs; he might choose to strengthen us for the task at hand or bring in outside help to lighten the burden. Either way, we need to ask for help and trust that His response will always be sufficient.

If you are currently situated in a church where mistreatment abounds, you might have read about the care we received from our church family and ached with pain. When Jesus spoke this unwavering promise, he knew the specific suffering that each of his followers would experience, and he acknowledged the persecution you are now enduring. It might be wise and necessary for you to seek care from believers outside your local church. God intends his church to function like a healthy family, but that doesn’t always happen in this broken world. In Psalm 27, David acknowledges that it is a grievous thing to be forsaken by family. His honest song comforts those who lack this good gift, “Even if my father and mother abandon me, The LORD will hold me close” (Psalm 27:10).

©2024 Jenny Solomon. Used with permission.