Pastoral Trials and Congregational Blessings

The relationship between a pastor and the church he serves can sometimes be challenging. The challenge is often complicated when trials arise in the pastor’s home. A good understanding of God’s design for pastors and congregations to care for each other can keep those trials from detrimentally affecting everyone involved.

The pastor as under-shepherd and priest

One of the most important truths for pastors and churches to remember is that every under-shepherd in a local church is also a sheep. In His wisdom, as Head of the church, Jesus Christ gives frail creatures of dust whom He has qualified to serve local congregations as spiritual leaders. Pastors are not some special class of Christian that separates them from the needing the usual provisions Christ supplies to His people. What pastors teach, they also need to know and remember. The grace and mercy that we commend to the people we serve is precisely what we need day in and day out.

This also means that pastors and their families are not immune to the trials that arise from living in a fallen world. Physical, emotional, spiritual, and relational hardships occur in our families just as much as they do in the lives and families of other believers. Sometimes, simply remembering this can keep pastors and churches from being undone when such difficulties arise.

A pastor’s marriage comprises two sinners, just like everyone else’s. His children are sinners being raised by sinners. Like every other church member, his spirit and body must deal with the realities of remaining sin. So, it should not be a surprise when trials arise in the pastor’s family.

Since that is true, the very means of grace that are commended to others in times of unusual difficulty should also be utilized for the pastor and his family. That means every temptation to hide or pretend that all is well should be resisted. It is humbling but very healthy for a pastor to admit when his family is in crisis and needs help.

Care for one another

A second truth churches should know and embrace is that God calls every member to care for one another. A significant part of every pastor’s job is to “equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ” (Ephesians 4:12). Scripture is filled with admonitions instructing believers to help care for each other. Galatians 6:2 summarizes this responsibility by reminding us to “bear one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Such mutual ministry cannot happen if needs are denied or covered up. While all Christians should use discretion in discussing our trials and burdens, pastors who may be hesitant to make their needs known should remember Paul’s example of dealing with the church at Corinth. “We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians; our heart is wide open” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Embrace these truths

When churches and pastors embrace these two truths—that the pastor is a sheep and a shepherd and all the members are responsible for caring for one another—then a crisis in the pastor’s family does not have to affect the church negatively. It can become an opportunity for real growth in grace and maturity for the whole body.

By God’s grace, I have witnessed this personally more than once through times of crisis in my own life. The most dramatic was in 2008 when lightning struck me in my front yard. The disruption, fear, uncertainties, and long recovery resulting from that tragedy could have devastated my family and church. The Lord, however, overruled it by strengthening our leaders and members to pour out love and help on my family and me and increase their ministry to each other. Through this trial, the church grew much stronger in ways that prepared us for future trials that tested our faith and threatened our unity.

This should not be surprising. We should expect it because it fits perfectly with what we know about Jesus Christ and His ways of caring for His people. For “we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28). He has also promised to build His church (Matthew 16:18), and He does that in local congregations in ways that, while great good comes to His people, all the glory goes to Him.

The Lord always cares for His people by giving us exactly what we need when we need it. That includes any trial that might come to a pastor’s family. His grace is always sufficient, and His ways are always best. Remembering that and committing ourselves to trust and obey Him will result in blessings for us and glory for Him.

©2023 Tom Ascol. Used with permission.