The Shepherd's Self-Esteem: How Pastors Find Their Identity in Christ
There’s a temperamental teeter totter between the pastor’s ears. On one side is the desire to give all glory to Christ, and on the other is the weight of self-importance. This back-and-forth tension is stronger than we acknowledge.
Sometimes, while squirreled away in our offices right before the early service, we think, “Who am I to preach God’s Word to all these people? ” For others, the pendulum of esteem can quickly edge toward over-confidence: “Why wouldn’t they want to hear God speak through me?” The back and forth can be nauseating and frustrating for the tenderhearted pastor.
For nearly two decades now, I’ve walked with fellow pastors through the feelings of not being ‘good enough’ and the inverse sense of arrogance. Low self-esteem is my burden at times, too, and it’s led to complex, necessary conversations washed in the grace of our Savior.
How do we, as pastors, handle this idea of self-esteem? What is self-esteem? Is it sinful for a pastor to have high self-esteem? Most importantly, how do we see ourselves in the context of Christ’s redemptive work and our sacred calling as shepherds of God’s flock?
Understanding Self-Esteem
Self-esteem is dynamically connected to our perceived worth as followers of Christ, leaders, and pastors. We all have an innate sense of value and calling. Knowing God has accepted us gives us the strength we need to resist Satan’s attacks and engage our critics. How we feel and what we believe to be true about ourselves is often a fractured lens in light of God’s grace. The Apostle Paul cautions us in his words to the Roman believers that we are to “think soberly” when considering our worthiness (Rom 12:3).
Can we dismiss the term “self-esteem” altogether as outside the goal of the gospel? When we focus on ourselves, we take our eyes off our Savior. We start building our identity on our perspective, not on our Solid Rock. When we allow others to assess and convince us of a different value or significance compared to God’s view, we rely on their opinion. What drives us to make such a change?
Pastors are in danger of unhealthy self-esteem, whether low or overly high, when we place undue value on the feedback of others. Did I do well with today’s sermon? Why do the elders want to meet on Monday night? Do you think people forgot last week’s trainwreck-of-a-message? What did so-and-so mean when they made that comment?
Unchecked, these poisonous thoughts will infect your heart and sabotage your pastoral ministry. Who you are in Christ is the only esteem worth your concern. Instead of favoring self-esteem, what if we fully leaned into Christ-esteem? Here are five critical steps to making this much-needed shift as a shepherd.
1. Recognize your value as a child of God.
Confidence in Christ alone is where we can sink our identity roots. Paul’s words in Colossians 1:10 remind us “to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy;” Who do you trust to help you keep an accurate perspective on your identity in Christ? If you’re in a season of feeling deflated or overly confident, it’s worth inviting others to keep your viewpoint pure.
2. Take out the toxic playlists.
“I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).
What are the thoughts, mental images, and ‘soundbites’ from the past that play in your brain each day? Are they leading you to truth grounded in Scripture or lies spawned by Satan? This inner narrative, dripping with mental poison, is what I call your toxic playlist. It’s feeding the lies: “You’re not a good enough pastor.” “That pastor has a bigger congregation than you—what’s your excuse?” “You remember what you said to your wife last night, and you call yourself a pastor?!”
Whenever I feel ‘lesser than’ as a pastor, I must stop what I’m doing and mentally shift my thinking to God’s perspective. I am an imperfect yet redeemed child of God, called to be a pastor, blessed with the gift of teaching, and invited to lead His Church.
I am not my ministry; I am a child of God privileged to serve in pastoral ministry. This is still God’s ministry, and I draw my sense of worthiness from Him because He alone is worthy.
3. Play the gospel truth.
If you eliminate a toxic relationship and don’t replace it with a healthy one, it’s only a matter of time before another toxic relationship fills its place. The same is true for your mental narrative. Taking out the toxic playlists creates space to play gospel truth to your heart. The more I feed my heart and mind with Scripture, prayer, meditation, and worship, the stronger the gospel absorbs into my life.
Like Jesus in the wilderness, we can stand in the desert of despair as lie after lie from the enemy rains down on us. In the face of adversity, we speak gospel truth, not self-esteem messages. We lean into grace and forgiveness when we sense self-esteem has infected our hearts with pride. We progressively grow more like Christ when we let Scripture set our perspective.
4. Stumble with Grace. Lead with faith.
Living with Christ-esteem takes time to master. Negative habits, toxic playlists, and even overconfidence can hijack us for months or even years. Healing is not overnight. It takes conscious, gospel-centered action to step out in faith. My reflex is still sometimes to slip into negative thinking, but we err with grace, and then we get back up and lead with faith.
With time, you will see the beauty of Christ-esteem leading you to preach, minister, and proclaim His victory in light of your humanity. Let’s not be pastors who esteem ourselves; that was never God’s goal when He called us, and it shouldn’t be ours either.
©2024 Caroline Newheiser. Used with permission.
About The Author
Josh Weidmann
Josh Weidmann serves as the senior pastor of Grace Chapel in Denver, Colo., and is a certified biblical counselor with the Association of Certified Biblical Counselors. Josh publishes regularly at joshweidmann.com.