6 Ways for Pastors to Respond to Criticism

A cutting email. A mean-spirited text. A nasty phone call. A slanderous letter. A lecture in the foyer right before church starts.

Criticism comes in different shapes and sizes. Sometimes it is the indirect criticism – the criticism that filters through several people before it finally reaches you – that is hardest to deal with. No matter what the form, all criticism tends to sting. It is something no pastor relishes. 

As with anything, there are constructive ways to respond, and there are destructive ways to respond. The Bible says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). How a pastor responds can either inflate the problem, like adding fuel to the fire. Or, it can help deflate the problem and open the door for constructive dialogue. 

While the pastor cannot control how the critic responds, he can control his response. Here are six ways to respond to criticism.      

1. Consider it inevitable 

There is an old Dutch saying: “He who stands in the front will soon be kicked in the rear.” The pastor who naively enters ministry thinking ministry will be smooth sailing and painless is in for a rude awakening. Every leader will eventually have to deal with criticism. 

The Bible is full of examples of those who were on the receiving end of criticism, sometimes even violent criticism. The same is true when it comes to 2000 years of church history. Today, all over the world, thousands of brothers and sisters in Christ have been martyred for their faith. If being a Christian is this dangerous, sooner or later, ministry leaders will receive criticism, whether petty or serious. The pastor who expects it will be much better prepared than the one who doesn’t. 

2. Consider the source 

Criticism should always be “measured” in terms of the source. Ask: where is this coming from? It would be unwise to give the same weight to criticism from a casual attendee as to that of a fellow elder.  

Sometimes church folk think they know exactly what the pastor should be doing. Often the CEO (Christmas and Easter Only) crowd think they are the best equipped to diagnose what’s wrong with the pastor and the church. It would be pretty foolish to give serious credence to their words. 

The better approach is to give weight to those you trust with deep spiritual maturity and commitment to the local church. Sometimes criticism is warranted. Sometimes truth in love is just what we need. The Bible says, “Faithful are the wounds of a friend” (Proverbs 27:6).    

3. Consider Scripture

The pages of Scripture are fraught with examples of leaders who faced criticism. We could look at David, Nehemiah, and others, but consider the example of Moses.

As pastor Joel Beeke explains, “From day one of his ministry, he faced seething verbal abuse from his own people (Exodus 5:21). Within a week of their mighty deliverance from Egyptian bondage, the people were venting complaints toward their God-appointed deliverer (Exodus 15:24, 16:2-3). Their forty years of wandering in the wilderness were marked by recurrent floods of unjust criticism hatefully aimed at this man of God.” 

No matter how often you have been criticized, it doesn’t come close to Moses. Yet, he remained humble (Numbers 12:3) and often intervened on behalf of the Israelites. Reading the Bible reminds us that we are not the first, nor will we be the last, to face criticism. 

4. Consider yourself 

Many of the ancient philosophers instructed their students to “know thyself.” This wisdom is still critically important for us today. You are a sinful, fallen man smack dab in the middle of his own sanctification. This is the humbling reality. Your sin nature (Psalm 51:5, Romans 3:23) results in imperfect, mistake-prone leadership, which eventually invites criticism.  

While much criticism is unjustified, most of it has a kernel of truth. Sometimes there is more than a kernel. The worst thing to do when you receive criticism is to blow it off. Try to get to the heart of what your critic is saying. Learn what you can. Discard what is false and unjustified. Apologize and reconcile if necessary.   

Think of it this way – you’ve been criticized in the past. Whether you know it or not, you needed that to become the man you are today. Don’t resent criticism; learn from it.  

5. Consider Christ 

Undoubtedly, the most powerful illustration of responding to criticism is the example of Jesus. Though He was sinless and could have easily defended Himself, our Lord entrusted Himself to His Heavenly Father while enduring suffering. Peter captures this truth in his first epistle: 

“He committed no sin, neither was deceit found in his mouth. When he was reviled, he did not revile in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten, but continued entrusting himself to him who judges justly” (1 Peter 2:22-23).

Pastors are often quick to see the flaws in their critics’ arguments and feel the need to defend themselves. But before responding, pastors should consider the example of Christ. Don’t be too quick to “set the record straight” and put your critic in his place. Sometimes the best thing to do is shut your mouth and let God deal with the situation (Romans 12:17-21). 

6. Consider the duty to love 

Jesus taught, “Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Matthew 5:44). There are times when we struggle to love our friends, let alone our enemies! But as Christians, we have a clear duty to love those who are hard to love, even those who plot evil against us.

As Stephen was being stoned to death, he prayed, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them” (Acts 7:60). If he can pray that way in the face of death, then by the grace of God, we can respond in love to our critics.  

In no way am I suggesting this is easy. It’s not! But God has supplied us with all the resources we need. Pray that God the Holy Spirit would give you a heart of love for your critics.   

As a final reminder, don’t forget the centrality of prayer. After receiving criticism, take the matter to the Lord. Pray for your critic. Pray for wisdom to know how to respond. Even try to pray with them if possible. Often, we don’t know all our critic is dealing with at the moment. Their harsh words could be a symptom of a deeper problem. 

Most importantly, do everything in your power to demonstrate the grace and love of Christ as you respond.   

©2023 Daniel Stegeman. All rights reserved. Used with permission.